I remember a day when Ethan was about four, before Archie was even born. I was making lunch for Ethan and Sara and nursing and caring for baby Molly.
In my memory, I am standing near the kitchen counter with Molly in my arms and Ethan turned his big blue eyes to me and said, "Mommy, what are you going to do when we all grow up and go away?"
I remember being speechless at the question but he filled the silence and answered it himself, "I think you should take a nap."
So, nap I did yesterday after getting home from a 1500 mile, 4 day journey to see my four children off to their independent lives.
I'm sad that it's all over but excited for them, excited to have a front-row seat on what their generation will accomplish and excited to see what the future holds for me now that there are fewer personal responsibilities.
For the last nine years, I have tailored my law practice around the needs of my family and my personal need to be available for them. I am so grateful that being self-employed allowed me that opportunity but I'm kind of looking forward to putting more energy into my work. People won't know what to do when they call my office after 3 p.m. and get me instead of my voice mail.
Charlie and I can travel or go out to dinner on a whim instead of thinking and planning it all to death. We will spend less on groceries. The house will be clean when I come home. There will be less laundry. I won't know who wins this season of America's Next Top Model or what Brittney Spears and Lindsey Lohan are up to--but I can probably live without all of that.
Just like Sara said in a thoughtful entry on her blog "This is the natural progression of my life, the logical answer to my current condition."